COMEDY Best Scene Reading of THROUGH A GLASS CEILING by Richard Geiwitz

Winning Screenplay – THROUGH A GLASS CEILING
Written by Richard Geiwitz

CAST LIST:

NARRATOR – Julian Ford
BRICE – Mandip Brar
JIM – Zane O’Connor
LEXI – Amanda Quach
ZOE – Kayla Lakhani

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Comedy, Horror

What’s worse than a woman scorned? How about 4 actors scorned, dethroned from the path to stardom and looking for blood!

Get to know the writer:

What is your screenplay about?

The screenplay is about nepotism versus inclusiveness, class versus class, dreams versus realities.

What genres does your screenplay fall under?

Genres covered are Dark Comedy, Satire, Horror.

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

I think this screenplay should be turned into a movie because it would be fun to watch, probably multiple times, It also has a moral to the story.

How would you describe this script in two words?

In two words, I’d describe this screenplay as a “Dark Dream.”

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

I’ve watched Network at least 50 times.

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I first conceived this idea about 15 years ago.It rattled around in my head until about five years ago when I put the first draft together.

How many stories have you written?

I have written about 20 screenplays, several short scripts and treatments, a couple of novellas and a long novel.

What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)

My favorite song is “Pride” by U2.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

I think the biggest problem was getting to the end of Act One at 25 pages. The original version had a lot more backstory. I also had to work hard getting the key characters their own voice since they were friends and generally thought alike.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

Besides writing, I’m passionate about Chinese culture, fitness and study revolutions and their aftereffects.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I entered this contest because I got a good feeling reading the testimonials. I liked the fact that several writers can have at least a scene read rather than just a single winner. That’s a huge help. The feedback I received was great. It reinforced the good things, while helping to identify the areas needing improvement.

*****

Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Editor: John Johnson

Camera Operator: Kierston Drier

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne


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January 2017 COMEDY Stories, Screenplays, Short FIlms

Submit your Comedy Screenplay or Film to the Festival Today: http://festivalforcomedy.com

 


festival posterMARIA FERNANDA IN TIME, 9min, Spain, Sci-Fi/Comedy
WATCH Audience FEEDBACK

TV PILOT Screenplay – DOWN WITH THE BUREAUCRACY
January 2017 Reading
Written by Dimitry Pompee
TV SPEC Screenplay – MODERN FAMILY “Relax, I Got This”
January 2017 Reading
Written by Edward Pronley

BEST Scene – THE UNCONQUERABLE
January 2017 Reading
Written by Jonathan Fear
ACTORBEST Scene – SANDWICH
January 2017 Reading
Written by Deborah Klika

ACTOR1st SCENE Script – FAN SITE
January 2017 Reading
Written by Elisha Barnes
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – MODERN LOVE
January 2017 Reading
Written by Hannah Dillon

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – PFFF
January 2017 Reading
Written by Dimitri Devyatkin
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – I CAN CATCH A BULLET
January 2017 Reading
Written by Reynaldo A. Garza

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – LOVE HURTS
January 2017 Reading
Written by Michael Gavino
ACTORNOVEL Reading – DEADLY SERIOUS
January 2017 Reading
Written by A.J. Thibault

 

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Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

COMEDY 1pg. SHORT SCREENPLAY – BANH YOU! by Steve Cleary

Watch the February 2017 Winning Comedy Short Screenplay.

Winning Screenplay – BANH YOU!
Written by Steve Cleary

CAST LIST:

HENRY – Peter Mark Raphael
CARLA – Victoria Urquhart
NARRATOR – Gabriel Cameron

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Comedy

A blind lunch date at a cafe where miscommunication is on the menu.


Get to know the winning writer:

What is your screenplay about?

It’s a silly sketch about a guy and a girl on a blind lunch date, but the girl’s so hungry that she’s not present to the conversation and the date ends in disaster.

What genres does your screenplay under?

Sketch Comedy

How would you describe this script in two words?

Silly short

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

Well it’s really short for one thing, and I think the wordplay is a lot of fun.

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

Nacho Libre. Love that movie!

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I wrote it in a day, and revisited it months later to trim it down from two pages to one for this contest.

How many stories have you written?

About a dozen or so, with a long list of ideas in various stages of development.

What motivated you to write this screenplay?

I was approached by an actress who wanted to start up a sketch comedy channel and she liked my writing style. I thought it would be a good, easy way to get some of my material produced.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

The actress didn’t want the girl to have any lines, but just sit there with a blank expression. We disagreed on the comedic merits of that approach so she didn’t end up using it.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

I love my dog and taking him on long walks when I take writing breaks.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I was treated so well by you guys when you gave my feature “Lawn Boys” a table reading that I wanted to submit something else that showed another angle of my sense of humor. The feedback provided really helped elevate the script to its highest potential.

TV CONTESTSUBMIT your Best Scene Screenplay or TV SPEC Script
Voted #1 TV Contest in North America.
Screenplay CONTESTSUBMIT your Best Scene Screenplay or FEATURE Script
FULL FEEDBACK on all entries. Get your script performed
Screenplay CONTESTFIRST SCENE (first 10pgs) Screenplay CONTEST
Submit the first stages of your film and get full feedback!

****
Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

COMEDY BEST SCENE Reading – SANDWICH by Deborah Klika

Watch the January 2017 Winning Comedy Best Scene Reading.

Best Scene from the screenplay SANDWICH Screenplay
Written by Deborah Klika

CAST LIST:

NARRATOR – Nick Wicht
SUSIE – Val Cole
DIANA – Catherine D’Angelo
WILL – David Straus
SURVEYOR – Gabriel Darku

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Comedy, Animation

Centres on the lives of Suzie, writer, mother of three, her mother, feminist academic Diana, best friend and ex corporate warrior Toni, and the depressive yet helpful neighbour Will.

Get to know the winning writer:

What is your screenplay about?

Life in the suburbs when everybody needs you and nobody wants you.

What genres does your screenplay under?

TV comedy

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

It’s Blue Velvet meets Modern Family and exposes a darkly comic view of what goes on between the hours of 9-3 in suburbia. When the cat’s at work the mice……

How would you describe this script in two words?

Blue Suburbia

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

The Apartment by Billy Wilder

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

On and off for eight years

How many stories have you written?

Three TV comedy pilots, two more as developer/creator

What motivated you to write this screenplay?

When living in suburbia I asked what happens when you lose the identity you had in the workplace.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

That feedback from commissioners was “why would anyone want to see a comedy about women in their forties?” from women in their thirties with no children. A lack of knowledge or understanding about that time in one’s life.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

Teaching, comedy and screenwriting research.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I was attracted to this festival because it offered readings with actors and I was keen to see how the script “read.” The feedback was thorough and perceptive, it focused on the comedy and how to make that stronger rather than the fact it was about “women.”

Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?

Keep at it. Get lots of feedback and even if you don’t agree with the feedback there is a reason the reader felt compelled to comment on that aspect or at the point, so ask yourself why.

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Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson


TV CONTESTSUBMIT your Best Scene Screenplay or TV SPEC Script
Voted #1 TV Contest in North America.
Screenplay CONTESTSUBMIT your Best Scene Screenplay or FEATURE Script
FULL FEEDBACK on all entries. Get your script performed
Screenplay CONTESTFIRST SCENE (first 10pgs) Screenplay CONTEST
Submit the first stages of your film and get full feedback!

 

COMEDY SHORT SCREENPLAY – MODERN LOVE by Hannah Dillon

Watch the January 2017 Winning Comedy Short Screenplay Reading.

Best Scene from the screenplay MODERN LOVE Screenplay
Written by Hannah Dillon

CAST LIST:

NARRATOR – Charles Gordon
BONNIE – Shannon McNally
GRANDMA – Val Cole
SANDRA – Catherine D’Angelo
JOEL – Nick Wicht
BILL – David Straus
NOAH – Gabriel Darku

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Sci-Fi, Comedy, Romance, Family

In 2065, Sandra brings her Artificially Intelligent boyfriend home to meet her grandmother, who struggles to accept him.


Get to know the winning writer:

What is your screenplay about?

When Sandra brings her Artificially Intelligent boyfriend home for dinner, her family struggles to accept him. In addition to the nerves that come with meeting a significant other’s family, this boyfriend has to overcome a deep-rooted prejudice against robots. Great. Let’s see how Sandra’s overbearing, Jewish grandmother reacts.

What genres does your screenplay under?

Sci-Fi, Comedy, Family

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

This story exposes an important social issue in an engaging, digestible way. It’s really about the struggles of any “unconventional” couple (LGBTQ, interracial, etc.), and the cyclical nature of social progress from generation to generation. Anyone who has ever been rejected by his or her significant other’s family will relate to this story. More importantly, people who feel you should only date “your own,” may even be able to take a step back and question that impulse. I believe this story could have a great impact if made into a film.

How would you describe this script in two words?

Provocative and silly.

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

When Harry Met Sally.

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I worked on various iterations of this story for about eight months. I am currently working on a pilot inspired by the two main characters and their relationship.

How many stories have you written?

I have written three feature screenplays, many more short screenplays, short stories, poems, and songs. I am constantly writing.

What motivated you to write this screenplay?

Years ago, a family member of mine did not approve of my former partner, and it stuck with me. I was very close with that family member, and was not expecting his negative reaction. Others told me to “let it go,” because he was old, and from “a different time.” I tried to imagine: If I was very old, and my granddaughter brought home a lover, is there any kind of person I would find unsuitable? Any kind of religion? Race? Sexual identity? As I wracked my brain, the only thing I could think was, “as long as it’s human.” That’s when it clicked: if my hypothetical granddaughter were to bring home a robot, I would, in fact, question that love, and my hate would sound all too familiar. It also sounded ridiculous when aimed at a robot. I thought, what a perfectly absurd metaphor to use to expose the idiocy of real prejudice. At the end of the day, it’s just fear of the unfamiliar.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

There are a lot of big themes at play here, and a lot of different ways to tell this story. I had to explore several avenues before I found the one that felt right.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

I love music (which I also write) and comedy, and care deeply about social justice.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I saw a few videos of previous readings, and I loved the idea. The initial feedback was very helpful.

Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?

My only advice is to write what’s in your gut. It’s the only thing worth reading, and the only voice nobody else has. Plus, it’s in your gut—don’t let that fester.

****
Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

TV CONTESTSUBMIT your Best Scene Screenplay or TV SPEC Script
Voted #1 TV Contest in North America.
Screenplay CONTESTSUBMIT your Best Scene Screenplay or FEATURE Script
FULL FEEDBACK on all entries. Get your script performed
Screenplay CONTESTFIRST SCENE (first 10pgs) Screenplay CONTEST
Submit the first stages of your film and get full feedback!

 

2016 SHORT Screenplay Winners

Submit your Comedy Screenplay or Film to the Festival Today: http://festivalforcomedy.com

See the Short Screenplay Comedy Stories. Click the link and watch the winning videos:

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – BARGAIN
December 2016 Reading

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – LAST RITES
December 2016 Reading
Written by Martin Keady

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – BUREAUCRACY
December 2016 Reading
Written by Sharmini Kumar
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – JANE’S INNER VOICE
December 2016 Reading
Written by Ian Wilson

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – MISCHIEF AND THE MYSTIC
December 2016 Reading
Written by Michael Gavino
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – THE PINCH
December 2016 Reading
Written by Claire Brown

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – THE LAW OF PUNCTUALITY
December 2016 Reading
Written by Joy Lin
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – DELI DILEMMA
December 2016 Reading
Written by Jim Norman

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – THE PINE CONE
December 2016 Reading
Written by Dimitri Devyatkin
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – A DAY AT THE BEACH
December 2016 Reading
Written by Todd Gordon

ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – THE LAST ANNIVERSARY DINNER
November 2016 Reading
Written by Patrick Coleman Duncan
ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – COMMENCEMENT
November 2016 Reading
Written by Dan Borengasser

ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – EMPATHY IN THE ELEVATOR
November 2016 Reading
Written by Keith Makenas
ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – FORGIVENESS
November 2016 Reading
Written by Sherwin Allen

ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – EXORCISE
November 2016 Reading
Written by Matt Holland
ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – CASABLANCA SLING
November 2016 Reading

ACTORSHORT Screenplay (Under 5pg.) – BASTURD
November 2016 Reading
Written by Michael Egan
ACTORSHORT Screenplay – WHAT’S IN A NAME
October 2016 Reading
Written by Ted Stanley

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – THE STRUGGLE
October 2016 Reading
Written by Janice Kennedy

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – SYMPATHY
October 2016 Reading
Written by Steven Sinnenberg

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – I NEVER KNOCK
October 2016 Reading
Written by John Ervin

ACTORLONG SHORT Screenplay – THE MIGHTY BIRD
October 2016 Reading
Written by Brian Gililland

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – PLEASE HOLD
September 2016 Reading
Written by Tricia Stewart Shiu

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – JULIE & ROM
September 2016 Reading
Written by Behzad Sedghi

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – GLORIOUS
September 2016 Reading
Written by Brent Beath

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – FREEDOM
September 2016 Reading
Written by Scot Walker

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – SAMMY’S PARROT
September 2016 Reading
Written by Dimitri Devyatkin

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – BLAME GAME
September 2016 Reading
Written by Sonny Dyon

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – PARTNERS
September 2016 Reading
Written by Rupert Aspden

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – SAFE WORD
September 2016 Reading
Written by Darren Coyle

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – RED DOT
August 2016 Reading
Written by Mark Richards

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – DRAC’S CAFE
August 2016 Reading
Written by Scot Walker

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – FIRE!
July 2016 Reading
Written by Steve Biggs

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – THE FACTS OF LIFE
July 2016 Reading
Written by Chris Beadnell

ACTORSHORT Screenplay – TREED
July 2016 Reading
Written by Sally Spitzli

ACTORMOCKUMENTARY Screenplay – BOWLING FOR CONCUBINES
July 2016 Reading
Written by Vanessa Marlowe

ACTORShort Screenplay – OZARK
June 2016 Reading
Written by Craig Mrock

ACTORShort Screenplay – CUTTING REMARKS
May 2016 Reading
Written by Erin Richardson

ACTORShort Screenplay – GARY’S GIRLS
April 2016 Reading
Written by Mckenzie Trent

ACTORBest Scene Screenplay – THE HOOPLA
March 2016 Reading
Written by Thomas Nesti

ACTORShort Screenplay – LOVES LABORS LOST
February 2016 Reading
Written by Stanley

 

 

 

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Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

2016 1st Scene Screenplay Winners

Submit your Comedy Screenplay or Film to the Festival Today: http://festivalforcomedy.com

See the 1st Scene Screenplay Comedy Stories. Click the link and watch the winning videos:

ACTOR1st SCENE Screenplay – YOU’VE CHANGED
December 2016 Reading
Written by Sam Sexton
ACTOR1st SCENE Screenplay – DOORLOCKER
December 2016 Reading
Written by Tony DiSibio & BL Cooper

ACTOR1st SCENE Screenplay – SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY
December 2016 Reading
Written by Elisha Barnes
ACTOR1st SCENE Screenplay – SENIOR PRANK
August 2016 Reading
Written by Vincent Masson

ACTOR1st SCENE Screenplay – SENIOR PRANK
July 2016 Reading
Written by Shiv Sudhakar

ACTOR1st SCENE Screenplay – CATCH!
July 2016 Reading
Written by Jerry Nield

ACTOR1st Scene Screenplay – RORSCHACH
May 2016 Reading
Written by Federico Franchi, Filippo Pierangelini

ACTOR1st Scene Screenplay – THE WEDDING THIEF
April 2016 Reading
Written by Brett Bacon

ACTOR1st Scene Screenplay – MAN SEEKING MONKEY
April 2016 Reading
Written by Steve Mikals

ACTOR1st Scene Screenplay – RENAISSANCE MAN
March 2016 Reading
Written by Robert Tolz

 

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Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

Winning Feature Screenplay – TRIAL AND ERIN, by Larry Shulruff

Watch the December 2016 Winning Feature Screenplay.

TRIAL AND ERIN
Written by Larry Shulruff

CAST LIST:NARRATOR – Sean Ballantyne
MAURIE – Christopher Huron
ERIN – Petra O’Toole
CLAIRE – Georgia Grant
MADGE – Rachel Salsberg
RALEIGH – Craig Estrella
WILLIE – Rais Moui
VARIOUS – Charles Gordon

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Family

Feeling verklempt? Meet Maurie. A widower lawyer juggles his kids, an impending make-or-break trial, his daughter’s bar mitzvah and the arrival of a lovely young woman who might represent a new start for him.

Get to know the winning writer:

1. What is your screenplay about?

A widower attorney preparing for a make-or-break trial falls in love with his adversary’s girlfriend.

2. What genres does your screenplay fall under?

This is an old-school rom-com.

2. Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

The story appeals to all age groups. It also tries to break down racial stereotypes. The protagonist is a loveable klutz who finds himself overwhelmed by work, family and the death of his wife, whom he describes as not so much as his soul mate, but his “coffee mate” – “you know how much you need the cup of coffee to start the day? And how you pour in the cream and it dances and swirls and the coffee transforms from this non-descript dark color to this beautiful caramel color. And you take that first sip and you feel like you’re going to have a great day and nothing can get in your way. That’s what Beth did to me. Every day.” It is really easy to root for him and jeer his opponent. Plus the story if full of court room hijinks fun.

3. How would you describe this script in two words?

Must read.

4. What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

Midnight Run.

5. How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I finished the most recent version in the spring.

6. How many stories have you written?

I am working with a producer on a buddy script I wrote that involves three Springsteen die-hard who would do anything to meet their hero. I also have written a sports comedy that I’m excited about. I’ve recently finished a computer thriller. I’m working on two more – one involves a judge who finds herself presiding over a case in which she has a serious conflict interest she can’t reveal and the other deals with a cop who encounters unforeseen problems when he adopts a baby.

7. What motivated you to write this screenplay?

I had written a humorous article for a local magazine about how I couldn’t generate interest in a script with a similar plot like as Trial and Erin. Two weeks later a assistant producer at a major production company called and said he loved the idea and asked if he could read the script. Problem was that I hadn’t written a word of it. By the time I finished the screenplay my contact had left the film business.

8. What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

Everyone knows how a rom-com is going to end from pretty much page 10. Finding an out-of-the-ordinary ending that is romantic – and funny – was a challenge.

9. Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

I’m a trial lawyer during the day. I love the drama and excitement of trial work. It is hard but exhilarating work. And let’s not forget the Chicago Cubs – winner of the 2016 World Series!

10. What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

Keep writing even when your thought process becomes cramped. Also, find a trusted scribe who can read your material and offer guidance.


TV CONTESTSUBMIT your Feature or TV SPEC Script
Voted #1 TV Contest in North America.
SCREENPLAY CONTESTSUBMIT your Feature or FEATURE Script
FULL FEEDBACK on all entries. Get your script performed
SCREENPLAY CONTESTFIRST SCENE (first 10pgs) SCREENPLAY CONTEST
Submit the first stages of your film and get full feedback!

Winning Comedy Short Screenplay – FORGIVENESS by Sherwin Allen

FORGIVENESS
Written by Sherwin Allen

CAST LIST:

MYA – Andrea Lawrence
ALEX – Cory Bertrand
NARRATOR – Cassandra Guthrie

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Comedy

An eager 9 year old determined to get a bike, decides to ask God for help, and learns that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Get to know the winning writer:

What is your screenplay about?

It’s about seeing the world from a different perspective, to get the things we really want and desire.

What genres does your screenplay under?

Comedy

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

I think it should be made into a commercial or movie, because its cute and humorous but at the same time it helps us to see things from a new perspective. There is also a lesson to be learned, that there is a consequence for every thing we do whether its good or bad.

How would you describe this script in two words?

Cute and Clever.

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

Saving Private Ryan, I love this movie because even thou its a World War 2 movie, its actually a film about a journey and along this journey we learn so much about the individuals looking for Private Ryan.

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

This script took me about a day because of the shortness, I had to work really hard on editing it down to one page.

How many stories have you written?

I’m fairly new to script writing but I have about a dozen at the moment.

What motivated you to write this screenplay?

The challenge of writing a one page story. This is a challenge in itself to be able to tell a full story in one page.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

Brevity without being to brief, if that makes any sense. I basically had to tell a story but not be too long winded otherwise I’d go over the one page mark. So my challenge was how do I set a scene develop a character give conflict and tell a complete story all in one page.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

I’m passionate about directing movies. I’ve directed several short films and next year I’m filming my first feature film Rome of the Dead, which is about a zombie apocalypses in ancient Rome.

Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?

Read as much as you can, screenplays, short stories, and novels. I think the more you read the better you will get at writing. Last advice is to write as much as you can, practice makes perfect.

TV CONTESTSUBMIT your Short Screenplay or TV SPEC Script
Voted #1 TV Contest in North America.
SCREENPLAY CONTESTSUBMIT your Short Screenplay or FEATURE Script
FULL FEEDBACK on all entries. Get your script performed
SCREENPLAY CONTESTFIRST SCENE (first 10pgs) SCREENPLAY CONTEST
Submit the first stages of your film and get full feedback!

 

 

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Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Editor: John Johnson

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne

Winning COMEDY TV PILOT Screenplay – EMMETT IN PEOPLELAND, by Larry Hankin

October 2016 Winning Comedy Short Screenplay.

EMMETT IN PEOPLELAND TV Pilot
Written by Larry Hankin
Read 10 Questions with the writer

CAST LIST:

NARRATOR – Sean Ballantyne
EMMETT – Hugh Ritchie
RUSTY – Cass Van Wyck
MRS. B – Becky Shrimpton
CARMELA – Jane Smythe
OFFICER BUDD – Paul Whitaker
OFFICER LEW – Percy Alexander Harris
EDDIE/ROBBIE – Benjamin Camenzuli

SYNOPSIS:

Genre: Crime, Mystery, Adventure, Comedy

A Crime Comedy: A Homeless Gentleman in Venice, CA, sets out to help a friend accused of stealing a diamond ring, only to become the prime suspect in the theft.

Get to know the winning writer:

What is your TV series about?

It’s about how it’s possible to build your dream with just what you got inside and what’s available outside, but emotions and other people don’t work like that.

Why should this screenplay be made into a TV show?

3 reasons: A. Because it’s got a particular voice not out there. “Emmett”, the central character, is eccentric, homeless, and believes he’d make a great detective: a combination which allows him to use his eccentric “Illogic” and guilelessness to screw-up the “Logic” and Injustices of The Powerful, The Greedy, The Dishonest, and The Bullies that dare prey on the people who live in Emmett’s neighborhood: The Boardwalk, Beach, Alleyways, and Canals of Venice, California.

B. Basically, the hero – Emmett Sagittarius Deemus – sees himself, not as “a homeless window washer”, but as, “A Homeless Detective” – a Contributor to his Community. His enemies are Chance, Bad People, and Logic: a unique viewpoint for a TV show. “Sanford & Son” gave A Sly Old Junkman a voice. I think it’s time to give A Homeless Detective A Voice.

C. The “Columbo-type” detective structure (“Who dunit?” or “How did they do it?”) is needed for the particular solving-a-puzzle-or-crime narrative because you need time to get the audience involved in wondering “Who” or “How” along with Emmett. Plus: Columbo looked like he could have been homeless. Emmett just takes it there.

How would you describe this script in two words?

Very Funny.

What TV show do you keep watching over and over again?

Seinfeld

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

Screenplay (Teleplay) – 3 months. The character,”Emmett Sagittarius Deemus”, that the screenplay’s about: eight years.

How many stories have you written?

Around 30 – from 2 minutes to 20 minutes. All about Emmett.

What motivated you to write this screenplay?

I wanted to understand the problems and gifts of the longer form narrative. The main gift was, I was able go more deeply into Emmett and what makes him tick.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

Anything that stops me from getting it done- finito, typo’s and all; finding the time; making the time, protecting the time once I found it, and showing up regularly & constantly at the keyboard till it’s really ready. There’s no way around “Grit”.
Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

Making films from the things I write with friends and others of like mind. Being outside riding my bike and not typing.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

Simple synchronicity. I’d just finished it and wanted feedback. I gave it to a friend who read it and liked it and the same day I got an email saying you had a contest that gave feedback – so I entered. When it came, I got the sense the reader “got” the story. And I agreed with the feedback and notes. I thought making the changes would make it better. Easier to read. More direct. Cut two characters. I made the changes and it made it better. Cool.

Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?

What I’ve been told seems to work: Read good screenplays in your genre or field. Write until you find your voice. Copy till it you get original. Be original. Writing a good, solid, finished screenplay is hard but finding an agent might be harder.

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Director/Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne

Editing: John Johnson