COMEDY Poem: Mom, Please, Mom, by David Brooks Ellis

It’s great to be a man. Men have all the power, masculinity! patriarchy! FREEDOM! There are no female voices, could you imagine? All that nagging, whining, bad driving. Women quiver, bow to us kings, oppressors of innocent, women, and children. Therefore, it’s only right that all men shall be destroyed, it’s their fault, our fault really, excuse me, may I not excuse myself from bearing the full brunt of the responsibility here, as women for far too long have been mistreated and abused. Though, what power had I having entered the world from deep, dark coldness through gates of blinding brightness into the arms of a loving mother? What power had I to survive on my own until she relinquished her milk to my desolate lips? What power had I after a simple scrape of the big toe running on pavement in raucous laughter to then find unbearable agony approximating death until her arms and kisses the magic salve which rescued me from despair? What power had I when I learned about the power I had to get what I wanted: that Rock Band game at the store, another ice cream, stay in bed mom I’m scared, another t-shirt or can you clean my plate, mom? please, mom! Dad scowls, do it yourself. What power had I when I first caught the devil’s eye, thought that’s what beauty looked like, found my heart flipped upside down to keep her right side up. I didn’t get what I wanted, so I’ll resign my dignity to ensure it looks right. I’ll close my mouth, keep the peace, because without her, what’s left of me? Men have all the power alright.