COMEDY Poem: “BUT I DON’T EAT MEAT, BOSS”, by Arda Ünal

A Hunter Parrot dwells on its prey.
PIERCING, BLOODY TALONS
An excited wah hypes on,
A voice; soft, almost soothing,
quotes a naturalist,
Camera cuts to the parrot’s eyes,
WILD, CUNNING EYES
The bird talks,
IT IS UNHEARD.
“Just eat it already,” thinks the documenter,
Zooms in, trying to create some tension.
Can imagine people
closing the tab already, yawning;
“the bird does it on purpose”, he thinks.
Parrot looks at the camera
while the prey dangles between its claws,
and
bird just keeps talking,
GOD KNOWS ABOUT WHAT.
The documenter loses his religion,
“I… HAVE TO… POOT FOOD
ON THA TABEL!”
he screams at the parrot; “EAT IT, NOW!”
His producer wants a rough cut by the weekend.
No risks, not in this economy.
Even his marriage hinges on it.
“What a selfish bird…” he mutters.